Tuesday, October 30, 2012


that is Patrik's (who is pre-verbal) mantra for the last month or so. He is repeating this two words - not in correct written language - several times per day. 
Oh, yes, I forgot. Sorry. I should translate his words... :o)

So, "N'Č BAT!" it means basically "NO FEAR!" 

I remember we (J. and I) almost died out laughing when we heard him spoke those words for the first time. We already put both to sleep - well, better, to their rooms, when - not unexpectedly - Loris came back down the stairs. We knew it was her as... well, we just knew. 

After she was told to return to her bed, she started to do hers amost every night "I'm scared" talk... Before any of us could respond to the words we knew by heart, we heard Patrik out of his room:

"N'č bat!" in translation as above. All three of us just looked at each other and started to laugh. It was perfect timing from him to even think about something like that.

We never thought that this two words will stay with him, but they did. He is repeating them daily. 

It was almost a week ago, when we were surprised again. It was time to start the procedure for going to bed, so I went with Loris to the bathroom to help her. She was almost done, when I opened the door and called for Patrik. He was still in the living room with J. and I heard him comming. 

It was not all that I heard. He spoke again. This time alone - in responce only on the situation and a place. He said:

"N'č bat! Ni teme. Luč!" 

In translation: "No fear. No darkness. Light!" 

He was headed to the toilet as always and J. followed him. 'Light' was said in the moment when he turned on the light. We were stunned.

After joining us in the bathroom, I tried to get him repeat at least something of that explanation before. I managed to get 'no darkness' from him, after I said: 'no fear." and when I said 'light!' he looked at the light above us. His face was nothing but smile - even his eyes.

So, later last week, I started to think. This is not such a bad 'mantra'. 

No fear!

If he is not afraid, why are we?

No fear. No fear. No fear. NO. FEAR! - I started to repeat that myself in many situations I find myself in. 

Does it work? Well, sometimes. When not, I know I have to be more convincing saying them... :o)

Monday, October 29, 2012

Low back pain

Believe it or not...my back - my low back hurts me for 5 months. It started in June and the pain was on and off... not constant... But it was often off, so that till next time my back started to hurt me, I forgot to go to the doctor.

Somewhere in September that pain becomes constant. It happened one morning - I woke up OK, no pain, nothing. Not 10 minutes after I woke up - I didn't move wrongly or something - my day became hell. 

I moved around like I ate a board. I cleaned my teeth kneeling by the sink. I drove myself to work, realising during the drive that my reflex are not as they should be. That frightnened me a little. But I managed to get there safe and sound. Getting into and out of my car was something not to be seen by anyone...

So I promised to myself I will have to visit the doctor. The question that arised was - WHEN?

I learned that my doctor, who I haven't seen for some years - is going or is already gone and retired... Nice...

Then J proposed to go to his doctor... Well, being at work already at 5:15 a.m. and working till - at least 3 p.m. --- well, I realised that I will have a new doctor only if he will make a call to my office... Sadly... isn't it?

Well, as we are all home this week - two days off national holidays and three days off on my account - as children having their Autumn or 'Potato' holidays as they call them, this was the only chance that I go and see J's doctor...

I don't eat pain killers - don't ask me why? I just don't... I eat them only if prescribed by the doctor... and if the pain is so hard, I can't live... But my pain treshold is so high... or am I just a little bit of masochist... I don't know...

Yeah, I wish... 

Woke up at 5 a.m. this morning - to make everything ringht and to get the children ready. Drove to the city and left the children at my mother in law for the time when we would have been at the doctors. 

Surprisingly, whew we went to the Medical centre I asked J if he is positive that the doctor works this week. He was 99% sure that he works. I asked him if he asked on Thursday when he was there. Yeah, sure he did!

So approximately half an hour later I learned that I woke up early --- for nothing. Doctor wasn't working and it will not work this week... 

Yes, I'm completely sure I will be able to see doctor only in case if he will make a call to my office...

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Snowy Sunday...

It's 28th of October and... yes, we got up in Snowy Sunday... The first snow in this season...

to be continued...

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Little steps for big goal *** Mali koraki za velik cilj

It's been a while I wrote my last blog post. I will not bother you with the reasons...

I am - well, I can say - happy today. Not just today, the last few days. And this feeling doesn't include only Patrik's progress, but something that is happening in our country. I am proud to tell you that people opened their ears and minds for Autism Avareness. 

One of our media companies "ProPlus" and Society for Autism DAN came together in a campain "Little steps for a big goal". It started some two weeks ago and final action started yesterday. 

A TV show "SVET na kanalu A" (World on Channel A) is one of the shows with news from all over the world. One of their TV reporters Jan Golja decided to do their annual running through Slovenia in benefit to the Society for Autism DAN.

Lots of people, not only from Media Company ProPlus, joined the run. 

Yesterday they started to run from two towns headed to the capitol. Today they continued from four different cities and reached the capitol, where they had also a VIP run. 

I know that as a mother of a boy with Autism, I should join them. But - with my work and working hours (not to mention my physical condition) unfortunately - mission impossible... :o(

This campain will last till this Friday - October 19th - and it will finish on the coast of Slovenia. They will run tommorow from the capitol to Nanos and on Friday from there to Piran.

During this days people can donate in different ways; by text message, by donation on special account and by buying special T-Shirt, which also all the joggers wear...
All raised money will go to the Society for Autism DAN, and this is a big, kind and generous gesture. 

I salute and congratulate to all!!!