Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Episode

Hell! Many say that it's my natural habitat.

So, why am I complaining? Hmmmm... Really?

What or who put me here, where am I now? Others? It was me? Life itself? Decisions I once made? I believe it was all of that.

And what am I going to do? Will I leave it like it is? NO! Definitely not! I was never like that and I'm certainly not going to become like this now. I'm going to find the way out of this. One way or the other.

I never new how to quit, so I won't quit now. It's just not me. Whole of me!


Yes, I have my moments of despair, but I was never a quitter. Life did taught me how to make compromises, but never ever I knew how to quit and that is something I'm proud of. It brought me where am I now... and I don't mean in this 'state' of mind (Hell), but to the decision that I must stop.

Stop feeling sorry, because I didn't succeed to ensure my child the same opportunity others have.

Perhaps I must start to look from different perspective. Perhaps I must look at this as an Episode, which came to an end. As an opportunity to use this one or two years ahead of us, to achieve the goal I had (and have) at the end.

At the end, it's not only my life I'm talking about. It's my child's life...

After all... even after a very long winter night, the sun rises again...

  l

4 comments:

  1. I love that you have such a fighting spirit. I hope you will be able to escape from hell every now and again. Big hugs ((())) xx

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  2. Punca - dva cukra imaš in zato nobenega pomilovanja in negativnega mišljenja, kio te potisne še globje.
    Zanje narediš največ kar lahko in to je dovolj. To naj bo tvoja perspektiva.
    Življenje jemlji pozitivno in nenazadnje spremeni naslov tegale bloga. Niste v dantejevem peklu, ampak na prelepi mavrici življenja, kamor sodi tudi tvoj Patrik in njegov avtizem. Svet je lep in za vsakega posameznika na njem unikaten in tudi vaš naj bo tak! predvsem zaradi tvojihotrok pa seveda tudi zaradi tebe in Janeza!

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  3. The sun always does rise again, and everything will pass, even hell, hope yours passes quickly xx

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  4. @Andreja; se ne pritožujem... že dolgo ne... Imena še ne bom spremenila, vsaj dokler ne bom imela občutka, da je kaj drugače...

    @Wendy: my spirit (fighting one that is) is something I just cannot change, nor I want it. My escapes from 'hell' are regular, usually, but some days (as you know well) are just harder than the other days...

    @Blue Sky: that keeps me going... along with my children.

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