Thursday, March 08, 2012

It's not contagious...for heaven's sake

There is something that bother me... What really bother me is - since Patrik was diagnosed with ASD and developmental delay - we don't have visits anymore.

No visits from our friends! No visits - well, to be honest - almost no visits from my family or Janez's. Actually - the only visits we have - here and there - are from my mum and dad, and from Janez's mum. 

I came from a big family, so does Janez. OK, I can't blame his sister, who lives in Canada, or Janez's grand mums... 
nevertheless about the others...including our friends... I just don't know what to think. 

Again, don't missunderstand... We are welcome everywhere we go - at least I hope it is so... Just no one comes and visits. 

We tried to figure it out - why is that?

Well, we all know that the world is turning around faster and faster. Who else, than we - parents of the children with special needs - know that. Running around specialist, MD's, working therapists, speech pathologist, etc..., etc... not to mention that some of us just have to work - to get through the month...

We understand that, but then - next question arises: how can they visit others?... Just not us. We are not living so far away. Actually you can drive around our country in a day. Driving from the 'far' east to the 'far' west - with a car - you need approximately or better maximum 5 hours. Yes, those who are not from here, don't look so astonish... :o)

We thought about this hard... Why? Is it us... Can't be. We had visits in the past... Did we do something wrong? We have no answer...

This simple question still doesn't give us peace... Here and there we manage to push it away in the deepest corner of our minds...

but... from there a small voice is whispering loudly... 

Is it Patrik's ASD? Do they think that their child/ren will get it from him?

As far as we know... 

Autism is not contageous!

I hope this message will reach, not just people we know and we care about, but all those who doesn't know how to act, when they face the ASD for the first time, and the second, and the third...etc...etc...

We already fell lost, don't let us fell abandoned too...


  1. Great post I totally agree we don't have any visitors anymore. Your not abandoned you have an online family that love you x

    1. Thank you Wendy. I really appreciate.


      (now at least I know what 'x' means :o) )

  2. Petra, I hear what you are saying and I have been there as well...
    What I have discovered over time is that we need to work at our relationships with our friends and family. I am not sure about you but I cut myself off from people for a long time because it was too painful for me to see Nick around neurotypical kids! Now, I make sure to *invite* friends and their children to our house for lunch. Make the effort and reap the rewards.... xx

    1. Di, we never cut ourself off from the people we know, we care about... They know they are welcome, they know that our doors are open for them... but anyway... unfortunately nothing changed... It seems we will just have to accept this

  3. Petra, sama sem prepričana, da ni vzrik Patrik. Tudi sama nima obiskov in če ti odrkrito povem, me po eni strani to veseli, ker imam doma rada svoj mir. Posledično tudi na obiske (razen k mami in atiju) ne hodiva. Vprašaj Simono, Marjeto ... prepričana sem, da se jima godi enako.
    Meni enostavno zasebost doma - mir doma - godi in obiskov ne pogrešam. Zato tudi na obiske ne hodim.
    Čas, ki nas priganja, služba, druge dejavnosti .... Prepričana sem, da je vaših še več. Mogoče pa povabite na obisk kakšno Loriskino prijateljico, se spoprijateljite s sosedi. Kolikor vem, tvoji pravi prijatelji niso doma ravno blizu tebe. Zagotovo pa se ne sprašujte, če je vzrok Patrik - NI! Vzrok je čas v katerem živimo, ko nam ga "za spočiti" dobesedno primanjkuje.

    1. Saj si po eni strani govoriva, da je kriv čas... vendar verjemi, da tudi nama zmanjkuje energije za hodit okrog... in če se mi kam ne odpravimo, se ne vidimo z nikomer.
      O sosedih ne bom, saj sama veš, da sva tam naokoli edina te starosti, pa nimam nič proti starejšim ljudem, ampak... kaj pa vem... določena nagajanja v preteklosti tudi naredijo svoje.
      Saj veva, da se morava pomiriti s tem in se sprijazniti, da tako pač je.