Monday, November 28, 2011

Sunny Sunday In Late Autumn

Someone would say: "It's not late Autumn." 

But, for me it is! End of November. 

"Winter is comming." (quote from my last favourite book - well seria - fans you know about which I'm writing about)... Defenitely!!!! - My addition.

For last two weeks we had nothing but fog - well at least I. In the morning fog in Trzin (where I'm working) in the afternoon, when I finally managed to get home - darkness... And I'm so addicted to sun, for natural light. I hate lightboulbs. Especially this new ones. Eco or whatever they call them... But... again... I managed to lost my thoughts... :o) Sorry...

The sun managed to pervades the fog already on Friday. And it was with us on Saturday and also on Sunday. I felt completely different. Last two weeks were really so depressed. Not just for me. I saw that almost all around.
As we have a big oak tree in our back yard, this pile of leaves was just one of them. Janez put it together already on Friday (I was not so good) and on Sunday, when we came back from my mothers, we as a family stayed out and filled the bags with them. Even Patrik helped although Janez at first said that he doesn't need to. But I disagreed.
Well, RDI teaches us that no matter how small the task is, everyone should participate of doing it. 
At first he run to the swing, but when he saw us doing something. Something he never done it before. It was just like he waited for an invitation. I called him and he came right away. He didn't pick up a whole arms of leaves - I think that would be too much to expect - but he helped as much as he knew how...
 Bit by bit, leaf by leaf he filled the bags, with the smile on his face. 

Later on, when Janez bound the bags he was watching him with so much curiosity and at the end with much comprehension that if we wouldn't run out of the bags... - the rest of the pile is clearly seen -  

- next bag probably he would try to bind together... We will see next time if he will succeed...

At the end, it was a wonderfull Sunday. Although "Winter is Comming" we certanly hope for more Sundays like this one.



Saturday, November 26, 2011

Staying home?

Yesterday we had a day off. It was Friday and we didn't go to work. WOW! 

It was a wonderful day. In the afternoon the sun came out of the fog and clouds. We haven't seen it in our city for days. 

In the morning we didn't need to wake up so early in the morning. Like use to. No, today we had time to get Loris to the school and Patrik to preschool. We woke up at 06:30 a.m. Otherwise we woke up at 5 a.m. 

As Loris had to be in the school at 07:45 a.m. and we told his preschool teacher that Patrik will be in preschool at 8 a.m. we had plenty of time. We dressed. I made them breakfast... OK I made Loris and Patrik breakfast. Patrik ate his slice of bread and an apple, Loris asked for two slices of bread with Nutella and a cup of milk.

Usually I don't make them breakfast. It's too early in the morning. Patrik eats his slice of bread every morning, Janez's mother, who usually babysits Loris until she has to be in the school, told us, she will take care about her breakfast. 

We agree on Thursday that we will take them together to their places.

After delivering them to school and preschool, we went home. Janez stayed outside and went on the oak leafs - it finally threw all on the ground. 
Janez said not a long time ago, he wished our oak would have been just the same as the willow from Harry Potter. Do you remember? One leaf fell of her and she shaked them all down from the branches at once.

Nevertheless, I went inside. Was I good as Janez, I won't tell you. :o)

But as we usually do our grocery shopping on Friday late afternoon or early Saturday morning, we decided to do it before we will pick up our children. And we did. WOW. We made it. Lazy afternoon waited for us.

We picked up Patrik, afterwards Loris and went home. Janez's mother called and said she will come and visit, so later she did. Janez prepared late lunch and I drove Loris to her piano lesson. 

Late in the evening I said to Janez that how easy and slowly day it was. No rush in the morning. No rush in the afternoon. Especially morning was nice. No one nervous. No screaming. No rushing. No panic. We did everthing yet noone was angry on anyone.

Would I stay home for that? It would be nice. Perhaps. Maybe. 

But at this point our finances doesn't allow it. So it is stupid to think about it.

In the future?...

If we win on Euro lottery... :o) 

Who knows...

Yet, I don't know if I would manage to be "just a Mom". I salute you all who can.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

A-HA moments

this is something I love with RDI... They remind me that Patrik can be as good apprentice as Loris, if only we do it right. We have left him out of house choirs for long enough. It's time that he start to help bit by bit. 

I can see how proud Loris is when I let her go to the balet dancing alone - crossing one of the bussiest street in our town; when she is alowed to go to the piano lessons alone, without taking my hand. It's that special look on her face, in her eyes: "Look I can do it alone."
And so I asked myself, why I don't let Patrik to feel that same feeling? Of course I will not let him cross the street alone. Yet! First of all, he is only six years old! At the moment he is non-verbal.

Actually I never let him go anywhere alone, accept from the car to the preschool, or from the car to my parents house - when the car is already parked on the parking or backyard. I don't even remember if he showed any wish to go anywhere alone. It is true; in the summer when we were at my mothers and he wanted to play - most of the time he run to our neighbours backyard and waited to be cought. But that's it.

So, how to help him acomplish that feeling of pride, feeling of beeing accomplish... RDI helped me here. Lifestyle activities. According to his willingness to help, to do something (OK, sometimes he shows no desire to help, but this is so common with Loris, that we have almost no argument when Patrik show us so) apparently we chose the right lifestyle activities...  

Me and Patrik started to take out the trash. At least plastic ones. So we are doing this almost every day, when the trash bag is full. Sometimes I prepare two bags, one for me (large one) and one for him (small one) and we are on our way to the trash bin.
And at the trash bin he had his A-HA moment. Our trash bin for plastic is almost as  big as Patrik if not even bigger... for a little centimeters. So if Patrik wants to put the trash into the bin, I have to open the bin and help him lift the bag.

Than the other day I just opened the trash bin put my trash bag into it and waited. I didn't help him put in the bag right away. Instead I waited. He tried to put the bag into it, but he couldn't manage to lift the bag high enough. He waited for some seconds than looked at me and 'offered' me the bag. He realised that he will not be successful if he won't ask for help. It was so nice to see a smile on his face when I closed the trashbin.

Now I'm preparing to teach him how to do the laundry... :o)

Eventually, he will have the knowledge so when he will grow up, every girl will want him...  :o)


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

"US" Time - Part Two

Saturday November 19th

We woke up quite 'late'. At 08:00 a.m. In an hour we were on our way. Outside was thick fog which I hate. I haven't seen sun for a week and I desperately needed it. 

Some ten kilometers on a highway and right after we left it the fog started to thinn and there it was. Sun. I breathed quite lightly. Finally.

Half an hour later we came to our destination. Ranch Burger Venise. 

Approximate 15 years ago I have found this place, become a good friend - one of the best friends - with Natascha, whos family runned and now she runns the place with a help of her father. So, we know eachother for 15 years. We did much things together. We went through some rough time and a lot of great too. 

Soon after our arival brunch waited for us. We couldn't have any excuse that we already ate. After that she explaned what was waiting for us. A massage. Sauna. Jacuzzi. And for the cherry on a top of a cake... for me... a horse.

The last time I was on the horse for real - 8 years ago. That was my hobby. Something where I could clear my mind. After that I haven't found the time. 
We went for a walk - a long one. Talked about... our children. Both of them. The theme we can not avoid. 

The day quickly passed away. There was so much things to do. We meet some new interesting people (a massage did me gooooooooooood) and some old ones. Most of them were surprised to see us alone. When we told that we will spend the night, most of them were astonished.

After a great meal, carefully prepared by chef...
...Janez conviced me to play pool. Well, by my opinion we tortured the balls more than to play pool... :o)

Sunday November 20th

Morning came and we woke up in a strange room. At first I didn't know where was I. 

I quickly realised that 'a treat' is waiting for me. An hour on a horse's back. As I didn't have any proper clothes for a horse back ridding with me - I even don't know where I have those clothes and boots - Natascha provided me some. 

Well, if I would looked at first at the size, I wouldn't go through so much trouble to... let us leave that. When I saw the size, I gave up. I knew the last time I had that size on me was a decade ago... :o)

I told her that I will not go with her, but she didn't take my 'NO' for an answer. Finally I gave up. My jeans had to do. So we went to get the horses. She asked me which one I want. As my knowledge of the horses in her care got worse and I knew that Pier is too old to be ridden - although I love that horse still as his 'brother' Ritzke who unfortunatly died several years ago - I decided to take Rudy. A beautifull brown horse, but... with mischievous attitude as I learned along the way.

Later in the afternoon when we say goodbye to Natascha and the others, first we picked up Patrik and after ariving to Celje, we picked up Loris and went home... 

New week was waiting for us.

Anyway, we had great time. On a horse I even forgot on all the probles which are troubling my mind. So, we can say... a mission accomplished. 

I realised, altough so many years passed I didn't forget how to horse back ride, but my muscles began to hurt - TODAY! :o(

It would have been funny if I wouldn't need to run around so much...

Sunday, November 20, 2011

"US" Time - Part One

And we're back. WOW. We had weekend off. Alone. And not home. I can't remember when that happened. The last time I remember we were alone and not home was amost four years ago, when we were in England for 3 days. Janez had some bussiness there and I went along. This weekend was as good as that trip to Bristol, Cam and Glouchester. :o)

How this happened that we were alone? It was a project of many people... 

It started...

Three weeks ago. 

We all visited my friend Natascha. It was nice sunny day, so we were able to sit outside. This was a week  before Patrik's birthday and we talked. 

Than durring the conversation we had, Natascha asked us: 

"Do you have any free time?" We looked at her. She continued:

"I mean that you are alone?" We bursted out laughing. I said:

"You've must be kidding? When? We just explaned you few things since the last time we saw each other." (That was in summer!)

She looked serious.

"This is not OK," she said. "You will loose each other on the way." We were silent. She was right. We both knew that. Yet we didn't know how to change it. We were running around too much. When things in preschool started to be OK, the thing with school happened and is still happening. How to slow down? We didn't have the answer. We still don't.

"Now, listen to me very carefully... (somehow I expected that she will continue: "I will say this only once..." like Michelle from Resistance ('Alo, 'alo) always said it :o) ) ...three weeks from now, find a babysitter or babysitters and come up here. You will have a weekend for free." Before we started to look for the excuses, she said:

"Just stop it. I won't take a 'NO' for an answer. I'm booking you a room for the weekend on 18th of November and that it is. I will not forget." 
We looked at each other and simply said:

"We will do our best."

"No," she replied; "just show up!"

Friday November 18th

We were both working. Loris was at school, Patrik in preschool. As Loris had her piano lesson at 04:30 p.m. and I had arranged with Sabina to come, we knew it will be bussy day. 

In the middle of the day my mobile rung. I checked it quickly who it is and it was just a number. I didn't recognise it and I thought someone from preschool or I don't know who called. Usually I don't answer on numbers that I don't know, but last few months I have to. I don't have all the numbers from 'specialist' and 'members of comminsion' in my mobile (like they would call me). So I answered. 

At first I didn't quite recognise who was calling, but then I started to laught. It was Natascha. She reminded me of our weekend off in her hotel. I promised that we will come.

In the afternoon - crazy houres. I came home, Janez drove Loris to her piano lesson and then to his mother. She agreed that she will take care of her through the weekend. 

Janez and Loris left, Sabina came. 

We worked with Patrik. Suzana, my colleague from work, lend me some teaching toys. All those that we have home Patrik knows and I saw him he became bored, all the time the same toys... No challenge. 

Again we were suprised how quickly he knew what to do with almost each toy. The only problem he had was made up puzzles. We had to show him few times that he had to lift each piece and put it into the other... That was a little bit confusing, jet he was persistant to finish the task.

Janez came back just few minutes before Sabina left. 

I packed Patrik's backpack, took the new teaching toy he showed he likes. Patrik put on his shoes, and his jacket and we were all on our way to Velenje. My parents agreed to look after him. 

We droped him off, went to the store (07:45 p.m.) to buy some groceries for this week, went home I started to do the laundries, Janez cleaned the rest of the house and...

...we went to the bed. Don't ask me about the time when. I don't know...

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Getting close to the edge

Last two weeks were not nice. The days were hard for Janez and me. We waited for some decision and just learned that - decision will be made in one month. ONE MONTH! Yet they promised that decision will be done last Thursday. 

But that is how it is. We can not do anything but wait. Well, we can do. Read all the Laws and the Regulations related to future schooling of our son. Not nice reading, believe me.

The 'funniest' thing happened just on Monday, when I sent a text message to my sister if she can ask her husband which Law covers home schooling. Yes, she did answer me right away with the name of the Law and which articles are refering to the home schooling. Five of them. From Article 88 to Article 92. But...

(Yes, there is always BUT...)

... when I read those five articles, I found out that I will have to read the whole Law otherwise I will not be informed about everything. Why? In those five articles they  included: second paragraph of Article 28, Article 64, Article 67, Articles 83 to 87, second paragraph of Article 82 and third and fourth paragraph of Article 84 (specifically mentioned)... 

I stopped reading. I had to take a break. For the last 2 weeks (not only last two weeks) but last two weeks I'm so much in Laws and Regulations that I regret I haven't studied law. If only I knew what was waiting for me in my life. 

I never knew that I will have to do so much reading and studying just to get my child with Autism into first grade. In the school that (we hope) is the best for him.

I'm getting dangerously close to the edge... 

But (yes, again, but this is the good 'but') Patrik made so much progress in thise days. Although Loris is in her second grade and she got first evaluation of her knowledge (maths) and let me say - we are very VERY proud parents - he is making his steps to a progress.

Well, as some specialist said to us, that Patrik doesn't have any academic knowledge to put him into the regular educational program, but with adjustements of passing him the knowledge, we decided to 'test' how much he knows. Almost noone tried this before. No specialist, or he was just too jung to understand what they want from him. I don't know the reason.

Sabina helps me work with Patrik at home. For the last few 'days' when we were working togehter with him, we heard several new words. Words which he never spoke before. 

The first one was 'MODRA' (blue). We were trying to show him that blocks are not just for putting into the box, but he can do something else with them. So, I asked him to put blue block on blue block. I told him this sentence (blue block on blue block) again and again for quite some time, because he pressed his fingers against his ears. At some point he lovered his right hand, took a blue block, looked me strait in my eyes and said loud and clear: "MODRA!!!!" (BLUE!!!).  He was in some sort of crunch. After that he put the blue block he held in his hand on the second blue block on the table. 

We were surprised and happy. New word! He repeated! He copied me!

But as they say, "One swallow doesn't bring the spring." we were happy enough that this happened, so we slowed the pace.

Few days later I read in his diary, which we all write (preschool teachers and we) that during a puzzle game he repeated after Sabina OSEM (eight). He had to put  ten toes in right places on the feet and those ten toes were marked with numbers. When he was putting them on right places, Sabina counted written numbers...

Last Friday was most funny after all. Loris had to write for her homework all the names of the members of her family. Of course, first had to be the name of her father. She explaned me that because he is the tallest in our familiy. I smiled. Great escape why she didn't write my name first.

As she 'needs' me to be with her, when she is doing her homework (although I try to get away and just check at the end, how the homework is done) I sat down behind the desk and spelled the name. Janez. Five letters. I can't remember how many times I spelled it. How I slowly said it. 


Too many times I believe, as... 

...when she was almost finished with the name, yet she 'cried' out that she still don't know how it is written and before I managed to said it again, we all heard a voice from the living room:


It was Patrik. 

Janez and I started to laugh.

I believe at the end she brought him close to the edge with her whining. 

This is good start, but (yeah, again) we have to be carefull not to push him OVER the edge. It is not wise... we may - I don't even want to think about it...     

Friday, November 11, 2011

Unicorns & Downs

The questions that arises is - what they have in common? 


Few days ago I helped Loris cleaned her room and what I found in the middle of her mess was a small sitemap with picture of a unicorn. My unicorn. There were times when I collected them. She found it somewhere and store it in her room. I guess she thought I will never find it. Ever.

The memories came back to me. 

Before I turned the map around I knew what I will find on the other side. Words came back to my memory before I saw them again. They are not my words. Who wrote them I don't know. I don't even know when they were written. Nor where did I find them. I doubt it was internet. Unfortunatly or fortunatly (it depends on point of view) I was not so keen about internet. I can't even remember if I had computer back then. I suppose not. 

But those words helped me to move on two decades ago and they are helping me now. In the mean time I stored them in my mind as they arose from my memory in an instant.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

I tried to find the author now, but I haven't found him/her nowhere. On every web page says it is unknown, so I'm gratefull for them to some stranger. 
We got the answer today from the Commision of the Institute of Education. It was... they don't have an answer. The next meeting they will have in December. To be precise on 15th of December. Great! One more month of nerve war...

Saturday, November 05, 2011

7:31 a.m. six years ago

Patrik Ian was born. 

I still remember his birth as it was yesterday. Everything went so quickly - nothing compare to Loris's birth - that he almost fell out. It took only an hour and fourty-five minutes from the real start to the moment that he was born. 
They brought me to the delivery room in last minutes. When the midwife told me that I will give birht any minute, I thought she lost her mind. In the same breath she yelled to some nurse to get my husband otherwise he will miss the birth. Janez did run into delivery room just few minutes before. 

Yet that was then and today we were celebrating his 6th birthday. Previous years we tried to have a real birthday parties. But we realised quickly this is not for Patrik. He showed no desire for parties, no happy face when he got the present. I fell terrible; I saw that family was somewhat hurt by his 'so called' ignorance, but I fell even more terrible, because I saw that Patrik was somewhat sad as his peace was disturbed. 

So this year we decided to give him this day. To spend it the way he would like to. That he will be able to do, what he likes almost the most. Unfortunatly we could't go swimming, but we went to a place (Natascha thank you) where he could jumped on the trampolin as much as he wanted. His face shined. Luckly we had quite good wether for this time of season. There were more clouds on the sky than the sun, but it was warmer than previous days - we had around 16°C and we were able to be outside. 

After lunch we decided to go to another park to different playground... but Patrik... :o)

...fell asleep. Although we knew that he might wake up tommorow very early - in the middle of the night, we left him sleep... After all today is his day. Still... 

Happy Birthday... mio piccolo principe...  


Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Daylight Saving Time

Every spring and every autumn last decade I think of - who the hell did come up with this? OK Wikipedia can tell me that, but it is mostly retorical question...

When I haven't had a family of my own, there was not such a problem for me - I had two possibilities: whether I was at the party for one hour longer or I slept for one hour more in the autumn. Changes in March give me more problems. They took one hour of my sleep - don't mention about the party time... :o)

But since I have a family of my own, I have major problems with this. Why? Well, Patrik has his biological clock in him and this clock doesn't changes with the click, it doesn't care what we do with the time. On Saturday Patrik went to bed at his time - 8 p.m. I believe he fell a sleep right afterwards I kissed him good-night. I was afraid of the morning. 

With a good reason!

He was up at 4:30 a.m. As it was my Sunday to get up when he awakes, if you can not imagine how did I look the whole Sunday, please, look back few blogs. Yet this time I looked even worse. Patrik? He was like a sunflower? Happy, smiling, ready for action.  The whole Sunday. I thank God that it was sunny Sunday, so we were able to be outside. Went visiting Janez's grandma, visiting my parents and at the end my friend Natascha. Anyway we had lovely Sunday.
Well, in the evening he was exhausted. He almost fell asleep before the evening 'rutine' - which is not always the same. But...

...yesterday morning he was up at 5:15 a.m. Janez stood up and made him a company. In the evening, he went to sleep as usuall. I think.

Today, again was my turn, he was up at 5:30 a.m. 

At least I have hope that in one week his biological clock will do what we did on Sunday morning... :o)